While living in Virginia Beach, we attended the Foster Care information session only to realize we weren't in a position to promise long term housing to anyone. Upon returning to Arlington and buying a home, our roots were established. After settling into life with 3, we decided to begin researching adoption again. It seemed silly to start looking into this while we had a baby at home, but we'd heard stories of adoption taking years. We attended Arlington's Foster Care info session at the beginning of the summer and actually slipped out before it even finished. The focus was on Foster Care, not adoption. Not for us.
Matt's company has published details of timelines, costs, etc for international adoption. A quick look through that chart made clear it wasn't going to be our route - it can take years, many countries require extensive visits, and the fees are startling.
We turned our focus to domestic infant adoption. We heard stories of families being "matched" anywhere from weeks to years after becoming approved. We called agencies and attended a local adoption information/support group. This had a clearer path than international adoption which made us more comfortable. However, we almost felt shamed having 3 healthy biological children at home. We had set out to help the "common good" though and we knew we could provide an otherwise homeless child with a happy stable home. We were being told that the "common good didn't need help." Allegedly there were no babies in need of homes. Surely, this couldn't be true. We reached out to our church, who offers services to people all over the city. They confirmed what others said - all the babies had homes. We still didn't believe it.
One Saturday morning, I went for a run and saw a sign for a yardsale. I stopped by, clueless to the impact this seller would have on our future and our family. I overheard the following conversation:
Buyer: How old are your kids?
Seller: I don't have kids
Buyer: Oh...I saw the baby stuff (crib/stroller)
Seller: Oh. We tried to adopt. It never worked out.
I. Froze. I could have been ANYWHERE else in the world at that moment but I was here. Within earshot of this conversation. And able to see this woman's heartbreak. I ran home to find Matt and the kids on the front porch. I immediately told him what I'd observed and, instantly, we knew private adoption was off the table. Happy healthy homes were available for the babies. And these homes needed babies. We have been blessed with 3 beautiful little people already.
Shortly thereafter, I signed us up for the fall Foster Care training session. We have successfully graduated from the 10 week training course. We've completed piles of paperwork. We've gotten physicals and blood work. We've written 5 page bios detailing all our previous losses. We've been fingerprinted. And we've learned about ugly ugly parts of our world.
We are now awaiting our first of three Home Visits. If the social worker approves of what she sees after entering our home, we'll be placed on The List. We would be considered a Concurrent Family - willing to foster AND adopt. This does not ensure any placement we received would end in adoption. We'll have to wait and see.
We have stated that we'd be willing to take 1 boy under the age of 1 year. I asked if they'll call with children outside this range and was given a strong affirmative. We have the final say for any case but we can rest assured they'll call.
We have not mentioned this to our girls yet. Until we are approved and the crib is assembled, we don't want them to know about it. We don't know the timeline going forward, but if another little baby enters our home, I'll be sure to let you know.
No comments:
Post a Comment