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| The Big Girls help out (and Matt supervises) |
And just like that, we're a family of 5 again.
It was a busy week. I don't think I've ever been as tired as I was this past week. But it was such a good, fulfilled type of exhaustion. Today's Goodbyes were bittersweet. Everyone says "I've thought about Fostering but I just couldn't give them back." I read somewhere recently "Don't let the fear of getting hurt, keep you from helping a child who is already hurting." And this is our new mantra.
I have been continually impressed with my 2 "Big" Girls this week. They were constantly looking for ways to take care of The Babies. During meals, they'd each volunteer to feed a baby. Each morning, they alternated picking out babies' clothes. And when babies cried, they tried to soothe them. When they were unsuccessful, they asked for help...
C1 (completely normal tone): Mom, both babies are screaming [walks away]
C2 (happily): It's Crying - Time! Yay!
They have also done an incredible job making sense of a system and situations that are confusing even to many adults. When my 5-year-old approached a friend on the playground and referred to Baby Girl's "birth mom," I was so proud. It also made me giggle. Cailin repeatedly used her high pitched motherese voice to say "It's ok Baby, your foster sister is here." It's important to me that our kids understand the roles and relationships. The term "Real Mom" (as Charlotte had previously used) implies there's also a "Fake Mom." Should we adopt in the future, I need her to recognize I am real.
Everyone was concerned with how Matthew adjusted to becoming a middle child. He could not have cared less (#3rdchild). He excitedly pointed and proclaimed "Baby! Baby!" to our new addition and otherwise was just happy there was another snack cup filled with cheerios lying around.
I learned how amazingly supportive our neighborhood is. One friend (with a newborn!) brought us dinner. A few neighbors shared their babysitter which gave me time to go for a run (with *only* 2 babies in tow). This also gave me time for one-on-one dates with the Big Girls - nothing says "I love you" like slurpees in the park. And one neighbor even released the wild raccoon from my trash can while Matt and I safely held the babies back behind the fence. Lastly, the extra hands people were constantly offering at playdates and the park made it not only easier, but just plain manageable some days.
We learned a lot from our first week in foster care. Here are some notes to Future-Me for our future cases.
We need another ergo and another high chair
Do not plan to cook dinner the first night (or maybe even the first week)
Book extra hours with the babysitter - any time of day is helpful
Ensure Matt and Baby have one-on-one time from Day 1
Go to Costco (instead of Trader Joes every other day)
Save everyone's phone number in your phone - it's not cool to be caught off-guard by social workers and birth parents
And notes to friends and neighbors - we are so thankful for your support. We cannot share details about Baby's past or future, but we appreciate all of your kindness in the present.
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| Saturday bottles, snuggles, and donuts |
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| Everyone helps style Baby's hair |
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| 4 babies. 1 mama. So outnumbered. |
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| How I roll with 4 kids and a potty emergency |
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| Charlotte will be competing for World's Strongest Preschooler this spring |
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